Meet Holly (she/they)
Grief Therapist // Community Organizer // Lawyer
First, you must know, my soul is a wild one (with a special kinship to donkeys and mules). She’s sensitive and rebellious, and doesn’t do well with being told what to do. She’s very adamant about what I am here to do — my calling. And, while she’s often inquisitive and tender, she doesn’t tolerate bullshit. The ground was laid a long time ago for me to work with grief, collapse, community and justice (if you saw my natal chart you’d know). All of these are raw, often feral, and void of posturing — there’s just no room for pretending when you’re in the depths of loss, transition, conflict, and liberation work.
I’ve had my fair share of experiences that left me cracked open, shattered, groundless. Experiences I would never choose to do again, yet they’ve taught me how to tend to the depths of grief and injustice. They have left me fuller, more compassionate, alive, courageous and connected to all that is.
When I was 10 years old my older brother, Brett, died of a heroin overdose. He had long, beautiful hair, wore a snakeskin belt, and played the guitar with magic fingers. He’s someone I looked up to and loved my entire life, and then one day he was gone. Everything changed in an instant. That’s when I began my walk with grief. Though for a long time it felt less like a walk and more like a battle — a lonely battle in which I was much too small of a warrior.
A decade later, when I was 21, I experienced another life-shattering event. Something that left me forever scarred, and completely blown open. Six weeks before graduating from college, I was run over by a drunk driver who fled the scene with the help of his fraternity brothers. They lied to the paramedics about what happened, would not speak to the police, and hid the driver in a fraternity annex in the days following. Their lack of accountability continues to this day. In addition to the relational and emotional harm I experienced, I suffered from a traumatic brain injury which left me with over 200 stitches in my head, a broken pelvis, and crushed knee. That night the doctors couldn’t tell me if I would live. Later they told me I would never finish my college degree and never go on to get a Masters or Doctorate (proved them wrong on all counts — told you my soul is rebellious). I’m eternally grateful to my sister, Ivy, and parents who supported me as I navigated the world after this threshold experience.
Most recently, in July 2019, my sister, Ivy, died. Even as I write this (in 2021), her death feels unfathomable to me and I’m still learning to be in this world without her. She was a fiber artist and poet, weaving together materials and words into captivating pieces. She lived with chronic illness and disabilities for years, continually experiencing the predatory and dehumanizing impacts of an ableist soceity + the medical industrial complex. She’s now a mighty and beloved ancestor; I continue to tend to our relationship every day through ritual, writing, and after-death communication.
My other sorrows include a divorce and significant breakups (including with friends), an abortion, witnessing the ongoing destruction of nature and animals, and living in an unjust and domesticated civilization. All of these have pained me and changed me. None of these are mine alone; everyone has stories of loss and sorrow, some similar, some completely different. And, of course, weaved within all of this, I’ve had times of wild joy, falling in love, and feeling awe for the people and places around me.
Now, as I cultivate sustainable relationships with grief, gratitude, and the more-than-human world, I feel more alive than ever before. As I continually commit to dismantling systems of oppression (within and outside of me), including the delusions of white supremacy and human supremacy, I feel deeply connected to truth and the communal well-being. So, I cry often and laugh a lot. I try to speak the fuck up when needed and make space to listen when appropriate.
Sharing a bit more about the shape of my soul: I’m a cis, queer, half-donkey (just go with it) / half-woman who appreciates skillful cussing and anything turquoise. I’m in love with nature, land, animals, my human friends, community, and books (so many books). I work closely with the Goddess Hekate, as well as Lillith, Hermes, Kronos, and my Ancestors. I’m the guardian of two dachshunds, a miniature mule, and miniature donkey, who, along with the land I inhabit, are my primary teachers. I’m a white-settler on the stolen, ancestral lands of the Arapaho, Ute, and Cheyenne tribes in so-called Longmont, Colorado. My blood-lineage is mostly Bohemian (Czech) and English. If you’re into astrology, I’m a Capricorn sun, Aquarius rising, Gemini moon with LOTS of action in my 11th and 12th houses. On any given day you can find me painting rocks, giving offerings to the more-than human world, connecting with my friends and animals, or writing about community, collapse, grief, donkeys, transformative justice, and love.
Holly Truhlar (she/they) is a grief therapist, consultant, community organizer, and lawyer. She's most known for her work in collapse psychology, leadership support, and soul making. In her search for what's just and holy she earned a Doctorate in Law and Masters in Transpersonal Counseling Psychology. Yet, she found more Soul, more of what mattered, in witnessing grief and spending time with animal-kin. Now, she integrates her training and experience to co-create transformative relationships between people, groups, and the more-than-human world. She’s currently researching and practicing social technologies that foster collective nervous system regulation, including ritual, Deep Democracy work, and interspecies communication. She's been called to help hold grief in these troubled and transitional times, so she lives with her heart broken open and soul on display.
Juris Doctor (J.D.), 2014
University of Denver, Sturm College of Law
*emphasis in mediation, alternative dispute resolution, integrative law, and civil rights
Master of Arts (M.A.), 2013
Transpersonal Counseling Psychology, Naropa University
*experience in mindfulness-based modalities, relational therapy, non-violent communication, and group systems
Bachelor of Arts (B.A.), 2006
Political Science, Minor Environmental Affairs, Colorado State University
Holly has worked with therapy and consulting clients since 2012, as well as led groups and workshops with over 200 participants. This includes facilitating difficult dialogues, community building, rituals, group process work, and organizing Tending the Threshold, a large-scale collapse-aware conference. She’s extensively trained in grief work and group dynamics (see education + trainings). She’s participated in Desiree Adaway’s Freedom School, Generative Somatics Practice Group for white Organizers, the Racial Equity Coalition of Southern Oregon (REC), and other justice-based groups. She’s a trained mediator (through the Colorado Bar Association’s Continuing Legal Education) who brings in a strong systemic analysis and equity lens. She maintains creative + nature-based practices, as well as ongoing training and supervision (currently mentoring with Desiree Adaway and Melissa Taylor).
deep democracy, levels 1-4
Lewis Method of Deep Democracy with Sera Thompson & Aftab Erfan
ENTER THE HEALING GROUND
The Sacred Work of Grief + Ritual Training & Mentorship with Francis Weller
Certified Compassionate Bereavement Care™ Provider
The Art of Traumatic Grief Counseling, MISS Foundation, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Family Trust
Comprehensive Bereavement Skills Training
trauma dynamics training, Containment and autonomic regulation
The Love and Trauma Center, body-based (somatic) trauma therapy
core skills plus in emotionally focused couple therapy